I wanted to say something about the titles of things I do.
It seems they are a way of pulling things together but they often change....So why 'Finding Helena'?
Helena was the name given to me 'because it was your great grandmother's name- she was left behind in Poland'.
And for all these years up until the landing of the box from Cousin Helen I hadn't been able to work out if I'd ever seen an image of her. The only place I'd seen her name was on the Chemnitz monument in the large Jewish cemetery there.
And so seeing her with great grandfather Tobias (I knew what he looked like as Mum had once confirmed that a long time ago when looking through the photographs she had) was a moment of confrontation as much as contentment. The fixing of her image in my mind set in motion more questions than it answered.
Standing clutching her handbag in a beautiful embroidered cloak, Helena looks directly to camera. But there is no story to accompany the image. A blank is lodged there, making the 'seeing' of her particular smile and dark eyes a powerful but difficult moment.
So I asked myself why at this point I wanted to begin making work on something that caught the essence of a search or a 'finding'.
What are photographs without a context?
Or maybe the context is the absence?
The context is the knowledge of her murder and of the silencing of her story to muffle the deepest pain the photograph must have brought when looked at by her surviving children and grandchildren.
These are the questions I want to ask, amongst many.
I realise I'm unable to put any part of her face or any of the other 'unknown' women's and children's faces online. This is part of a long and complicated journey which began with the first installation I made in 1997 .
The details I picked for this blog are of small corners of the photographs. A visual grazing which is part of the 'Finding'.
The search for the Finding of Helena I am sure is not for the simple 'recognition' of the image but of something else....
And I will add more to the blog as I delve deep into the reasons for these dreams of longing and constant excavation. The little corners I have posted are from the new set of photos, and they are small spaces - ones I can hide behind.
Like the pieces I made for 'Cornerworks' in 2007 they skirt around the people that were there at the moment of the shutter clicking. You sense they are maybe ghosts at the edges where a figure is pictured further to the left, right, above or below...Lost in space.
Making the new collages at the same time as writing this will I hope will bring me face to face with these difficult questions.....